If you were a stock, would you bet on yourself?
Don’t we love though-provoking questions in leadership development!
So… where do we go from here?
Worth? Self-worth? How others see us? Self-awareness? Self-improvement? Growth mindset? Vulnerability? Courage?
Yes! All of the above.
Self-worth stems from your being, not from your doing.
Self-worth refers to an individual’s subjective evaluation of their own value or worth. It is a fundamental aspect of psychological well-being, influencing one’s confidence, decision-making, and interpersonal relationships. Studies link higher self-worth to positive mental health.
Self-worth is shaped by internal factors, such as personal beliefs and emotions, as well as external influences like social validation and life experiences.
Michael Gervais gave a comprehensive overview of external anchors of self-worth in his HBR article “Stop Basing Your Self-Worth on Other People’s Opinions”. He points out the questions we need to ask to ourselves, like “Where are you externalizing your sense of value? What are the domains in which you need to meet standards in order to feel worthy?” He also describes some of the most common anchors of self-worth as follows:
- Social approval: My self-worth is contingent upon being accepted, appreciated, and validated.
- Workplace: My self-worth is contingent upon a standard of performance at work.
- Money: My self-worth is contingent upon the perception of financial wealth.
- Academics: My self-worth is contingent upon scholastic achievement.
- Appearance: My self-worth is contingent upon meeting cultural standards for attractiveness.
- Social comparison: My self-worth is contingent upon being “better” than others in a given area.
- Virtue: My self-worth is contingent upon being a virtuous person.
- Parenting: My self-worth is derived from my child’s accomplishments and well-being.
- Power: My self-worth is contingent upon my sense of power.
- God’s love: My self-worth is contingent upon God’s love.
- Family approval: My self-worth is contingent upon compliance with my family’s desire.
Developing an awareness of where our self-worth is externally anchored, helps us to explore our areas of psychological vulnerability. We should be open minded to embrace and understand them; and then decide what we do. As such, we can regulate ourselves and reach higher levels of self-worth. Consequently, others will start seeing the new worth.
Self-awareness is fundamental for leadership.
While exploring self-worth is a very impactful way of gaining deeper self-awareness, there is more to self-awareness and personal growth.
Self-awareness is described as the ability to consciously recognize and understand one’s own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, as well as their impact on others. It involves both internal awareness, like understanding one’s inner states, values, and beliefs, and external awareness, like how others perceive us. Research shows that higher self-awareness is linked to better leadership, communication, and emotional regulation.
Here are many ways you can work on self-awareness. Self-reflection and feedback are two core mechanisms for self-exploration. You can use methods like journaling, mindfulness, personality tools, asking for feedback, active listening, practicing self-regulation, coaching and mentoring.
With self-awareness comes self-improvement. This is in fact a never-ending journey with a perpetual cycle of awareness, development and regulation.
Your vulnerability and courage will keep you going.
We do not pretend that this is an easy journey, especially considering how deep inside you might need to go and how externally anchored your sense of value might be. So, you need the courage to keep going.
As Brené Brown says, “You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability.” She describes vulnerability as the emotional exposure that comes with taking risks, being open, and allowing oneself to be seen without any shields. She sees it as an essential part of being human and a pathway to forming authentic connections with others. Essentially, this is the path to authentic leadership.
Your vulnerability AND your courage, hand in hand, will give guide you in your journey of authentic leadership.
You are then the stock you should bet on! 100%!